ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
