Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
