so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize