May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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