i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
