This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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