I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
