The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you still have your period?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
