And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
