"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You have to summon your inner elephant
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
