shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
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