so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
