A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
