Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This is my gift to your gina
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize