If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
