You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
