watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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