Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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