plz talk dirty to me
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, beer. Big fan.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
