I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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