You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My balls are so social today.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Randomize
