We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
