You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
