mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize