Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
