It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Let's paint friendship bongs
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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