You work out of a Hotel?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
