i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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