allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want to make out with him forever
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
