I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize