She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize