Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
