I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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