He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
