It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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