I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
