i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
