Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
