I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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