It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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