No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
