i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
