piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
