so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize