I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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