I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
