in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
