I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
