dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
