hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize