My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
