He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
