yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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