there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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