if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
