You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
