I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
