she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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