Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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