i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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