If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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