he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
