I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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