ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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