Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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