yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize