erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
