The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
