guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize