Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
