the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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