operation have a gay friend backfired
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
