I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
